Oh.  Hi.  How are you?  It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.  I was starting to take it personally, like you didn’t like me that way or something.  Totally awkward.  What?  It was me that’s been gone?  What.  Ever.

Anyway, guess what?  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wow, you are really bad at guessing.  What you should’ve guessed was “I’ll bet Jeff has two pieces of news so exciting that it’s going to make me squeal with delight!!!”  Because then you would’ve been CORRECT.

Exciting piece of news #1:  Remember way back when when I told you I wrote another book under another name?  Wow.  Your memory isn’t very good because I did tell you.  Well that book – STAY AT HOME DEAD – written under another name – JEFFREY ALLEN – is now OUT.  (Technically, it’s not out until Tuesday, but it’s already showing up in bookstores, so I didn’t want you to be the last to know.) Since you didn’t even remember that I wrote the book, here’s a reminder as to what it’s about:

Deuce Winters is a stay at home dad in the small town of Rose Petal, Texas and his life gets a little complicated when he finds the dead body of an old high school rival in the backseat of his minivan.  As Deuce continues to battle the misconception that he is a stay at home dad because he’s lost his job/can’t find a job/leeching off his wife/lazy/incompetent/a little girly, he must now attempt to clear his name of wrong doing.  In doing so, he runs up against devious PTA moms, a toupee-wearing Elvis lookalike and a midget private detective.  (Yeah.  I said midget.)  Hilarity and hijinks and mystery solving ensue.

Are you all sweaty with excitement now?  You should be.  Before you shower it all off, you can click over here to see what it looks like and decide where you want to purchase it.

But wait!  There’s more!

Exciting piece of news #2:  I wrote another book.  Under my own name.  It’s called THREAD OF HOPE.  In some ways, it’s similar to the Noah books, but in a lot of ways, it’s not.  Here’s a description:

Seven years after Joe Tyler’s daughter Elizabeth was abducted, he hasn’t stopped looking for answers, and he hasn’t forgotten the friend who stood by him as he lost his wife, his home, and his career in his search. Now he’s been brought back to San Diego by the news that this friend has been arrested for beating up a teenage girl—a girl not much older than Elizabeth would be now.  Joe is convinced Chuck Winslow is innocent, but Chuck is in a coma and can’t explain what happened. And the more Joe hears about what Chuck’s been up to in the years he’s been gone, the less Joe recognizes his old friend. To find out the truth, he will have to face his ex-wife, his former bosses, and a hometown full of wealth, lies, and illicit privilege. When Chuck’s accuser goes missing, Joe must decide where his loyalties truly lie. 

Whoa.  That sounds like a book I’d like to read.  Wait.  I did read it.  When I wrote it.  So now it’s YOUR turn to read it.  And because I love trees and the environment, THREAD OF HOPE is currently ONLY available as an ebook to read on one them new-fangled electronic reading devices called Kindles.  Oh, and it’s dirt cheap.  You wanna see the cover?  Okay, here you go:

You can go here to get it.

You’ll be hearing alot about both books in the coming days.  I promise.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!